What the hell is wrong with people (and me!) this week???

OMG I don't know what's wrong - but I just don't have the normal patience to deal with the world's idiots this week. I usually am a very patient & passive person - but this week I'm just going nuts!! UGH!

I am finding that I'm getting frustrated really easily - especially over the stupid things I can't change. Because I'm getting frustrated so easily (when I normally don't) this just ends up frustrating me more. Stupid little crap just keeps adding up and up and up and I have NO outlet to just escape from it and I'm going to go insane if I don't find a way to fix this.

For example, today I had to take my car to the mechanic for a recall on my power steering. The woman who scheduled the appointment last week told me it would take about 4 hours and that I can be taken directly back to work by the courtesy shuttle if I drop the car off during my work day. I clarified that "directly" meant without having to wait - she said "yes" the shuttles are direct since they didn't give dealer/rental cars to their customers

Today, I drop the car off at 730am (on a break at work). The guy behind the counter says he will "try" to get the car done by 2pm....which is closer to 7 hours...not 4....and that I can wait outside for the next shuttle, which left in 15 mins. I told him that the woman said I would be taken directly to work without having to wait and the guy just said he'd "talk to the driver". When said driver came over, I explained to him that I was on a 15 min break from work and I'm really only a 2 min drive away, so if he could dash me back to work ASAP I would really appreciate it. Then he told me that the "courtesy shuttle" is not here for my convenience, he is on a schedule and if I'm pressed for time then I should have arranged for my own ride back. What a D!CK! UGH!

I almost lost it in the middle of the dealership! If I would have known that, I'd have scheduled it - but the damn woman on the phone said I didn't need one. UGH! THEN, he proceeded to take someone else to work before me - who happened to be farther away than my location was - his reasoning...."its closer this way"....So I ended up being late getting back to work and I had to use it as my lunch break. Not happy....

On top of that, I was running late this morning and didn't get to pack a lunch. So I can't eat vegan today (there aren't ANY vegan options open at 430am before work). I had to pick up quick food at Taco Cabana and the cafe at work. I'm currently sitting around 1100 cals for the day - which really isn't too bad and plan to stay in line once I'm out of work...I just need to not have a breakdown between now and then (*points to self* emotional stress eater)

I can usually brush this stuff off and be okay - but for some reason all this crap has just been building up over the past few weeks. I had a mini-breakdown via IM to my hubby this morning - which he graciously calmed me down from (this was even before the damn car thing happened!). This is the 3rd (or so) meltdown I've had in the past month...via IM of course...and that is SO not normal for me. I am NOT a whiny emotional woman. I have a strong personality and can deal with anything life throws at me...most of the time....

I'm getting SO tired of all these emotional rollercoaster moodiness I'm going through - this has been progressing over the past few weeks and I think its crap. Someone actually had the nerve to tell me that this was "normal for a woman" - OY wrong thing to say to me today!!! I explained to them that if THIS is normal for a woman, I'm turning in my ovaries because I can't deal with this crap all the time!!

I NEED to find a regular outlet for myself - I NEED to get myself doing something carefree and fun again...I HAVE to relax!! Everything I do now is related to work...in one way or another...except the time I spend with the hubby or when I'm sleeping....this isn't working. The biggest stress release I got recently was being tattooed - because I actually took the time to do something for ME and I was carefree for about 5 hours (can't really worry about much when your back is being carved up)!! I need to find something that isn't as expensive that gives me the same release - I can't afford to be tattooed on a weekly basis

Running has always been a good choice for me, I just don't have the time. I honestly think I just need to start making more time. If I sacrifice sleep or rest in swap of regaining my sanity, it can't be all bad right??? I think I'm going to force myself to go run a mile on a quick break at work. I just NEED to get some of this yucky feeling out of me - I'm just feeling weary and I don't like it. Where is the fearless, strong, resillient version of myself who can take on anything??? I know she's in there somewhere! Maybe she's hiding behind the responsible workaholic personal trainer who is trying to take care of her family.

Hopefully I can find her soon - I miss her!!! UGH!