Friday, April 29, 2011

Happy Friday!

So its Friday again! Yippee! Definitely looking forward to the weekend! Kept my cals in line last night, but was a little higher in sodium & fats, so I feel a little squishy today. Weight didn't vary too much, was at 175lbs this morning. I'm kinda hoping for one of those "woosh" experiences sometime soon! haha!

So Operation Bikini is officially over - and I really haven't changed much (at least I don't think I did). Didn't bother with measurements or pics this morning as my weight has been around the same for the past 3 weeks. Especially with the squishy feeling this morning, didn't really want to see if measurements have changed at all (as I don't feel like they have!)

Got in a mile run this morning already, but someone forgot to turn on the air in the gym at work - so it was like running in a sauna! It was tricky to breathe and that made it hard to push through the full mile. I might try to get in some elliptical intervals on my lunch break today (since I don't have a Zumba class today to up my burns and still have a 2600 cal burn to hit!), but I don't think I'll be running anymore since it was so hot in that room today.

Other than that, just working on keeping this in line. Which always seems to be harder on the weekends. We have plans tonight and tomorrow night that will take some true self discipline to master - but I think I'll be able to do it *fingers crossed!*

BUGG BURN FOR YESTERDAY: 2,790 calories, 11,407 steps and 1:28 of activity
Total Cals Intake: 1,740
Cal Deficit for the day: 1050

Total Miles Ran in 2011: 20 Miles
Total Calories Burned "Running From My Issues": 2976 Calories GONE!

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Wonderful Wednesday & Happy Knees!!

So I remembered my running shoes today and I have some very happy knees after my last mile run (in 9:55 - which was surprisingly *easy* - might have to push now to get myself a sub-9 min mile!). My running shoes will be living in my car from now on, just so that I can wear them when I have a wild whim to go running. I need to protect my knees - they are necessary for Zumba!!

So - yesterday was awesome! On top of the new gig teaching classes on Mondays & Fridays, I ALSO got a job offer to design an after school program centered around Zumba for all 10 (yes that says TEN!) public elementary schools in my city!!! It would be a contract for the entire 2011-2012 school year and I am SOOO excited!! I think its going to be an amazing opportunity!! I'm still trying to work out the logistics of it, but I'm thinking that it will work out really well!

I am planning on taking on this project myself for sure. I offered for another instructor to help me out (the woman who owns the new dance studio I'm working at) but I haven't heard back from her yet. I know she's probably overwhelmed with opening her new location - so I don't blame her for not getting back to me yet.

In order to coordinate all of these classes, I need to get licensed in Zumbatomic, which is specifically designed for children ages 4-12. The next licensing class is in June, so I will be definitely signing up for that one! In order to fit it in with my day job, I'll probably have to go back to 5am shifts (as some of the schools get out at 2pm) - so in the meantime, I will definitely appreciate all the extra sleep I can get from working a slightly later shift!

Zumba class last night was awesome! Had some new people come and it seems like they had a really good time! Hopefully those classes will continue to take off and improve - the extra income is nice! I also started my Sparkpeople Bootcamp workouts yesterday - it was a nice little 10 min kickboxing workout. I'm looking forward to the one today! I started keeping my nutrition blog yesterday which is at if you wanted to check it out. I'm already noticing a happier body - I was down to 174.4lbs this morning and starting to not feel so fat & squishy, so the water weight is falling off nicely! I had a bigger deficit than planned yesterday - but I'm not too worried considering that I've had a few weeks of eating in excess (including a few days pushing 3,000+ cals over the weekend).

I think that's about it! Lookin' forward to another awesome day!

BUGG BURN FOR YESTERDAY: 2,753 calories, 11,407 steps and 1:28 of activity
Total Cals Intake: 1,670
Cal Deficit for the day: 1,083

Total Miles Ran in 2011: 19 Miles
Total Calories Burned "Running From My Issues": 2826 Calories GONE!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Busy Tuesday Leads To Sleepy Wednesday!

Wow yesterday was busy - worked my normal shift, had dentist appointment (my teeth look great!) then went straight to my Zumba class. Didn't have time to relax at home like I usually do. After class, I snuggled with the hubby while watching "Mean Girls" on the couch since I hadn't seen him ALL day. Ended up staying up later than I wanted too - but it wasn't too bad since I started my new hours at work today. I'm coming in an hour later than I was before and I'm hoping it will be good for my sleep schedule.

Today begins my countdown to D-Day....I started watching my nutrition last night and the scale dropped to a nice 175.6 this morning. I was expecting to feel a little leaner after dropping 2lbs overnight but I still feel squishy, so I'm actually thinking I might have dropped more fat during the past few weeks and water weight is hiding it all! Need to go grocery shopping soon to re-stock the house with diet friendly foods. I haven't had time to prep food for lunches, so I've been eating on the run the past few days.

Got a mile ran earlier today and it felt good. Knees are still a little wonky so I had to take it slower than normal (around 11 min mile pace) but it still felt good. At least I got the mile in! I have class tonight, so I don't think I'm going to run any more today. Also - note to self: I need to put my running shoes in the car so they're always available. I can't afford to ruin my knees to maintain my sanity - my jobs depend on my knees functioning well. After work, I plan on starting the Spring into Shape Bootcamp workouts on Spark - they are quick 10 mins strength training workouts which I think will fit into my busy schedule easily over the next few weeks. The goal is 10 mins of ST 7 days a week and 5 days of cardio (which I already do thanks to my classes) so I'm looking forward to just the little change up in my normal routine.

Tracking on my food blog will start today - been taking photos of everything I'm eating and will update with Day 1 either tonight or tomorrow. I want to include my Bugg burns on a daily basis - but those might be updated the following day to ensure accuracy with my deficits. Goals are around 1800 cals a day - hopefully this will be met!!!

I think that's it - I feel drowsy today and my schedule feels off - but that's to be expected when changing shifts. I'm thinking this one will work great. Hubby should start his new shift in a few days and then this will work a little better. It was hard having him get up at his normal time and me getting up later (I used to wake up before he did).

Total Miles Ran in 2011: 18 Miles
Total Calories Burned "Running From My Issues": 2686 Calories GONE!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

D-Day!! EEK!!!

OY busy day for me today! Got my normal work day, then off to the dentist, then off to Zumba. No time to rest or relax in between. Weight was down to 177lbs this morning (from 178-179ish yesterday)- which is awesome considering I didn't really watch what I ate yesterday (or all week for that matter). Got in a mile run earlier this morning and felt some jarring in my knees, which isn't a good thing. I'm thinking it might be my choice of shoes - which are cross trainers, but they're a few years old. I think they're just not springy enough to support my crappy joints. But either way - I'm taking it easier today and not running anymore today, especially since I have Zumba tonight.

Speaking of Zumba - I had my interview yesterday, and I was SO nervous! Its the first time I've ever had to give a "dance audition" and it terrified me! The woman who owns the studio is really creating a haven for Zumba - the whole place is designed to be AMAZING! I really enjoyed talking to her and she offered me classes right on the spot!! I was astounded! I was really excited! I'll be picking up classes starting the week of May 9th on Monday and Friday evenings - can't wait!! With this new addition, I'll be teaching Zumba 7 days a week!! Wahoo!!!

In other news, my back tattoo is almost 100% healed - major peeling occurred today so hopefully it will be completely done by tomorrow. It will be nice to be able to wear my normal wardrobe again. I'm tired of the low cut, hip hugger pants & inability to wear a normal bra....hopefully I'll be back to my normal clothes soon!!! *fingers crossed!*

Okay - going back to the new dance studio gig - they are having their Grand Opening celebration on the 21st of May - which is 25 days away. During this celebration, all of the instructors get their moment to "shine" and debut their dance in front of 100+ people - meaning I get to dance, by myself, in front of a huge crowd of people just standing there....My first thoughts are "OMFG" and "I'd better not fall or trip over my feet!" but the last thought is "I'd like to not be squishy fat" and "I'd like to not be self consious about the way I look during this". Thus the title - "D-Day" (aka Dancing Day!)

SO - now I have some super motivation to hit my nutrition for the next 4 weeks. I joined a 4 week Bootcamp Challenge on Spark that incorporates cardio & strength training. I already do regular cardio, so that's no biggie - but the strength training will be a nice addition. The contest goes from May 1st through May 28th, but I might start it tomorrow, just to get a few days head start on my "Dancing Debut" body.

At least I won't have to worry about wardrobe - we are going to all wear black pants & custom made tank tops for the studio - which is nice. That way I won't have to worry too much about color coordinating my outfit - but that just leaves me more opportunity to freak out over what I'm going to DO!! I have no idea what song I'll dance to! I have some ideas, but nothing solid yet. GROWL! haha! Put me up in front of a crowd of people who are ALL dancing with me, and I'm good - Put me up in front of 100+ people who are just standing & staring, and I'm PETRIFIED! No Bueno!! Oh well - I did speech & drama in high school....I'll just have to use my own fear techniques to bite this one in the ass.

So here's my plan for the next 4 weeks (starting tomorrow) which will take me from April 27th through May 24th (3 days after D-Day). I am going to NEVER eat more than I burn on my Bugg - no more "I'll make up for it tomorrow" days with preferably a deficit of 500-750 cals a day (but allowing for the occasional cheat meal - but nothing over my burns - so I don't go nuts), sticking with my 5/2 plan of eating Vegan at least 5 days a week (I have to prep food & not eat out as much!), complete the Spark 4 week Bootcamp which consists of at least 30 mins of cardio 5 days a week and at least 10 mins of strength training 7 days a week

This is my plan - and I'm sticking with it! Just the thought of performing in front of so many unknown people is already giving me butterflies! We might get tickets to give to close friends & family, but as long as I have the hubby there I think I'll be okay - though he's never really seen me Zumba before either! haha!

Total Miles Ran in 2011: 17 Miles
Total Calories Burned "Running From My Issues": 2526 Calories GONE!

Monday, April 25, 2011

OY - Monday Again!

Hey all! Happy Monday (well as happy as Monday can be I suppose!). This weekend was a nutritional nightmare! I ate anything I wanted - literally! One of the days I think I was easily over 3,500 cals for food intake - but it was damn yummy! haha! The astounding thing - my weight is only up 2 pounds from where I was at before (was 176lbs on Friday and 178 this morning!). I really think my body is becoming more efficient with how its functioning - which definitely isn't a bad thing! When I eat freely, and am only up 2lbs after, I definitely think I'm learning how to function better to sodium & carb fluctuations.

However - I have observed something interesting over the past few days. Since I updated my Bugg and my Cal intake went up - I've been more freely allowing myself to eat crappy food, simply because it fits into my calorie count. I don't agree with this - this isn't teaching me to create better habits for myself. I'm trying to come up with ideas for making this better & holding myself more accountable and I've decided to start up my nutrition blog again as of May. I did this last year while training for my 5K and it was really effective. I photographed everything I ate and uploaded it to a daily blog. I found that I was held in line because if I was embarassed to post it for the world to see, then I wasn't inclined to eat it. It worked out well! So, as of May 2nd (the first Monday in May) I'll be starting that back up again in a seperate blog, since I don't want to fill this one with food stuffs.

Didn't get any running in this weekend - but got 3 workouts done for my classes on Saturday and was nice & lazy yesterday. Getting back on track today and have already ran 2 miles on the treadmill. Had to take it at a nice easy pace (5.5 MPH) for each of them because my back is still healing - but it felt good to get a few miles done already. Not sure if I'm going to run any more today. I have an interview this afternoon for Zumba classes - so I might wanna rest my legs up today.

I'm getting out of work early today which is awesome. Looking forward to relaxing a little bit. Didn't sleep too well last night so it will be nice to rest up a little bit before having to go out again. Hope you all have a great day!

Total Miles Ran in 2011: 17 Miles
Total Calories Burned "Running From My Issues": 2526 Calories GONE!

Friday, April 22, 2011

And the madness ensues...

Alright - I admit it...I'm addicted to running! After yesterdays 3 miles, I was expecting to be sore & not feel so hot, particularly in my joints - especially since I did Zumba last night too (total of over 2,900 cal burn on my Bugg! Woot!). My knees were a little iffy last night, but this morning they felt 100% again. Not only did I sleep better than I have in WEEKS, but I woke up CRAVING running again!! There must be something wrong with me....don't get me wrong, I enjoy exercising, but I sure as hell have never CRAVED it!!!

By the time I got to work, it was the time my first break came around, it was unbearable. I HAD to go run! It was driving me crazy to just sit still at my desk!!! I felt like an addict who needed her next fix! My coworker was laughing at me because I was twitching so badly! haha! I felt like a spaz!

First break - first mile ran in 9:29 - felt amazing! It felt like a release of a huge amount of built up energy! On lunch, was planning on running again - but the treadmills were being used. One of the women was walking at a snail's pace WHILE eating her lunch on the treadmill - that just seemed counter productive to, the whole eating where I sweat thing is just not a fun thought - granted she wasn't moving nearly fast enough to break a sweat, but it was just funky for me. Anyways, so ended up on the elliptical instead - knocked out my usual intervals and burned 170 cals. Last break - last mile ran in 10:29 - little slower, but just as enjoyable.

Got in a total of 50 fitness minutes today and burned 490 calories - and the work day isn't over yet! Go me! I feel like a bad ass! Granted, nutrition has been crap, but I'm doing what I can to stay within a deficit. Weight is still sitting pretty at 176lbs because my sodium has been insanely high all week. Running has helped sweat some of it out - hopefully I'll continue to improve.

Other than that - today is DRAGGING like crazy at work!! I'm getting to leave an hour earlier, but it is taking FOREVER to get there!!! UGH! I guess that's what happens for those impatient for their weekend to start! I am going to visit a friend this afternoon and then tonight we are going out to celebrate my friend's birthday at an Italian restaurant...I'm going to do what I can to stay in line.

Based on my burn yesterday and what I've burned today so far (at 1422 cals and its only 1145am), I'm guessing I'll have about 1,000 calories to play around with before I eat in a surplus - but unfortunately that can add up real fast when breads, cream sauces & wine is involved! I'm going to do some research so hopefully I can order something relatively healthy *fingers crossed* don't want to destroy everything I have worked on this week!

Anyways, I think that's enough rambling for now - I'm addicted to running, eating as best I can and planning on having a super weekend! Life is good!

AND here's my elliptical workout, just for those that are interested:
Here's my Elliptical Intervals that I completed today:
2 min Warm Up Level 1
1 min Interval Level 5
1 min Recovery Level 1
1 min Interval Level 5
1 min Recovery Level 1
1 min Interval Level 6
1 min Recovery Level 1
1 min Interval Level 6
1 min Recovery Level 1
1 min Interval Level 7
1 min Recovery Level 1
1 min Interval Level 8
1 min Recovery Level 1
1 min Interval Level 9
2 min Cool Down Level 1

Total Time: 20 Mins
Total Calories Burned: 170


Total Miles Ran in 2011: 15 Miles
Total Calories Burned "Running From My Issues": 2206 Calories GONE!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

I feel like a bad ass!

So the past 24 hours have been awesome! Went out to dinner with the hubby last night at Chili's and got myself a Quesadilla Explosion Salad, which consisted of chicken, beans, tortilla strips and maybe some lettuce (definitely not the healthiest thing, but it was DAMN good!). Decided that I'm not going to stress about my weight this week - major weigh in isn't until the 30th - so I'm relaxing and not freaking out about it. If I'm going to lose weight this month, I will. If this month turns into a healthy lesson in maintaining my weight, then so be it. I'm not going to be pissed about it!

When I got home, hubby went to hang out with friends and I decided it was time to update my BodyBugg. I initially had it set up for a sedentary person who didn't work out and it said that I burn around 1800-1900 cals on a lazy day (which is about my maintenance when I don't work out). Since I've started working out at least 5 days a week, I updated my information for an "active" person and it totally changed my numbers - my new goal to burn at least 2600 calories a day (up from my old goal of 2150!!) and it has me eating 1800 cals a day to drop 1.5lbs a week! EEK! That's a lot to eat AND a lot to burn! I'll definitely be moving more AND eating more!! Yikes!!

It also updated my final goal weight - since I am a more active person it recalculated my muscle mass & body fat, it said that my goal of 19% body fat will be reached at 160lbs instead of 155lbs - which means I'm closer to my goal than I thought I was (which also explains why my body might be so finicky about dropping this last 10-15 pounds!)

I also got in a nice run last night - walked & jogged a mile before leaving for Zumba class and it felt nice to get moving again. It also made me want to move my treadmill at the house, I don't like where its located and I get bored....might move it today or tomorrow. Anyways, so I tallyed up all the runs I've done this year so far, and I'd ran a total of 10 miles since January (considering running took a backseat to Zumba classes, this is understandable). From now on, I'm going to be keeping a record of how many miles I run - I'd like to see how far I can go this year :-)

Zumba class was super fun last night, then I went home and passed out. Today at work, I managed to run 3 miles on my breaks & lunch! Go me!! My first mile was 9:46, second was an easier 11:00 and the third was a solid 10:00 - definitely happy about that! PLUS it was an extra 485 calories burned (which will definitely help me towards my 2600 cal burn goal!). I'm already at 7,311 steps for the day and Zumba class is usually a good solid 500 cal burn, so I should totally be good to hit my burns today!

I think that's about it - taking some of the stress off my nutrition has really helped me relax right now. I think adjusting it to around the 1800 my Bugg expects will do well too! Sodium has been a little high the past few days, even though I've been eating at a deficit - so I'm sitting pretty at 176lbs....but 176lbs of bloated self is definitely nice! That means that without the bloat I weigh less than I think I do! Woot! I remember when 176lbs used to be my "low" and "lean" weight! Good things are happening - I just need to be more patient and let them happen! My body is happy - I'm going to make sure it stays that way!!!

OH - and this update will now be put on the end of all my running blogs:

Total Miles Ran in 2011: 13 Miles
Total Calories Burned "Running From My Issues": 1886 Calories GONE!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Maintaining Sanity...

Hey everyone - so yesterday, I did my best to keep everything in line. I didn't have time to pack a lunch before work, so I had to eat out of restaurants & our cafe at work. On the way home, I was really craving a sandwich from Arby's, so I stopped and picked up dinner (since I hadn't eaten Vegan all day, I figured it wouldn't be too bad). I ended up around 1700 cals intake yesterday and 2681 cal burn. Weight is sitting right at 176 due to water weight, etc.

Life is pretty stressful right now and I'm just learning new ways of dealing with it. Yesterday I ran....and today I plan on running some more (this would already be done, but I didn't wear sneakers to work - I wore flip flops). I'm having to force myself to deal with the kind of people that I really try to not be around (self-motivated, greedy, insensitive and any other negative adjective I can think of). I don't have a choice - I have to work around people like this, and its really frustrating. This is why I'm working so hard to be able to work for myself - I'm tired of dealing with crap like this.

I have decided to start up running workouts for myself on a regular basis. I need the energy release that it provides to help me maintain my sanity in situations I can't control. I have Zumba tonight - should be super fun and I'm looking forward to it! Also, I need to adjust the settings on my BodyBugg. I initially set it up for a "sedentary" person because I wanted to see what my burn was when I did NOTHING. Now that I know that, I need to adjust it for a more active person - because I'm teaching crazy classes & moving much more than the average person does. That being said, I think my calorie count will be increasing as well. Part of me is tempted to start eating around maintenance on workout days (which is 1900 cals) and using my workouts to create whatever deficit I have...just a thought...not sure if I'll do it yet though. Its hella hard to eat 1900 cals worth of healthy vegan food - I'll be eating my body weight in veggies on a daily basis! haha!

On to better news, I literally just got off the phone about this - I have an interview on Monday with the instructor at a new dance studio! I am really excited (this is the one I tried to talk myself out of a few weeks ago - I'm not a dancer, I am not worthy, etc) so I'm really happy I didn't let myself talk myself out of it :-)

The owner sounds really nice and she asked me to prepare around 5 mins of instructional dance so she can see how I lead. I'm definitely nervous, but looking forward to it for sure. Hopefully this will go well! I need some happy news right now!!

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Running from my problems...

So this is my new solution - I HAVE to run to maintain my sanity! I know this sounds funny - but for me its not. When I'm running and struggling to keep my pace, something primal takes over and I lose myself in the sport. My brain shuts off, I relax and I just push through it.

I just forced myself to go running on a break at work - I put on my shuffle MP3 player (which oddly picked the Goo Goo Dolls to play today - not the best running music, but it worked). I set my pace initially faster than I normally would have (6.5 MPH to start) and just went for it. It felt SO good to just GO!! I'm in jeans, a t-shirt and my old saucony sneakers, but I managed to keep up that pace AND set a new PR for myself! I had to go back to my December Marathon stats just to make sure, but YUP - a new PR for me today! I ran a mile in 9:06! My body was pushing faster than it ever has - and damn it felt good!

I can't express the brief amount of joy I get when my brain shuts up - even for 10 mins. Its very zen-like. I'm more relaxed right now than I have been since last Wednesday (tattoo day). I guess this means I just need to make time to run a little bit every day. Maybe I'll start another Marathon goal like the one I did in December and see how it goes!

Here's my fitness stats today (not including Zumba class later)
Running on Treadmill - speed 6.5 MPH - 7.5 MPH
Mile Time: 9:06
Total Workout Time (w/ cool down): 16 mins
Total Calories Burned: 160

Running from my problems fixes things....who would have guessed....

What the hell is wrong with people (and me!) this week???

OMG I don't know what's wrong - but I just don't have the normal patience to deal with the world's idiots this week. I usually am a very patient & passive person - but this week I'm just going nuts!! UGH!

I am finding that I'm getting frustrated really easily - especially over the stupid things I can't change. Because I'm getting frustrated so easily (when I normally don't) this just ends up frustrating me more. Stupid little crap just keeps adding up and up and up and I have NO outlet to just escape from it and I'm going to go insane if I don't find a way to fix this.

For example, today I had to take my car to the mechanic for a recall on my power steering. The woman who scheduled the appointment last week told me it would take about 4 hours and that I can be taken directly back to work by the courtesy shuttle if I drop the car off during my work day. I clarified that "directly" meant without having to wait - she said "yes" the shuttles are direct since they didn't give dealer/rental cars to their customers

Today, I drop the car off at 730am (on a break at work). The guy behind the counter says he will "try" to get the car done by 2pm....which is closer to 7 hours...not 4....and that I can wait outside for the next shuttle, which left in 15 mins. I told him that the woman said I would be taken directly to work without having to wait and the guy just said he'd "talk to the driver". When said driver came over, I explained to him that I was on a 15 min break from work and I'm really only a 2 min drive away, so if he could dash me back to work ASAP I would really appreciate it. Then he told me that the "courtesy shuttle" is not here for my convenience, he is on a schedule and if I'm pressed for time then I should have arranged for my own ride back. What a D!CK! UGH!

I almost lost it in the middle of the dealership! If I would have known that, I'd have scheduled it - but the damn woman on the phone said I didn't need one. UGH! THEN, he proceeded to take someone else to work before me - who happened to be farther away than my location was - his reasoning...."its closer this way"....So I ended up being late getting back to work and I had to use it as my lunch break. Not happy....

On top of that, I was running late this morning and didn't get to pack a lunch. So I can't eat vegan today (there aren't ANY vegan options open at 430am before work). I had to pick up quick food at Taco Cabana and the cafe at work. I'm currently sitting around 1100 cals for the day - which really isn't too bad and plan to stay in line once I'm out of work...I just need to not have a breakdown between now and then (*points to self* emotional stress eater)

I can usually brush this stuff off and be okay - but for some reason all this crap has just been building up over the past few weeks. I had a mini-breakdown via IM to my hubby this morning - which he graciously calmed me down from (this was even before the damn car thing happened!). This is the 3rd (or so) meltdown I've had in the past month...via IM of course...and that is SO not normal for me. I am NOT a whiny emotional woman. I have a strong personality and can deal with anything life throws at me...most of the time....

I'm getting SO tired of all these emotional rollercoaster moodiness I'm going through - this has been progressing over the past few weeks and I think its crap. Someone actually had the nerve to tell me that this was "normal for a woman" - OY wrong thing to say to me today!!! I explained to them that if THIS is normal for a woman, I'm turning in my ovaries because I can't deal with this crap all the time!!

I NEED to find a regular outlet for myself - I NEED to get myself doing something carefree and fun again...I HAVE to relax!! Everything I do now is related to one way or another...except the time I spend with the hubby or when I'm sleeping....this isn't working. The biggest stress release I got recently was being tattooed - because I actually took the time to do something for ME and I was carefree for about 5 hours (can't really worry about much when your back is being carved up)!! I need to find something that isn't as expensive that gives me the same release - I can't afford to be tattooed on a weekly basis

Running has always been a good choice for me, I just don't have the time. I honestly think I just need to start making more time. If I sacrifice sleep or rest in swap of regaining my sanity, it can't be all bad right??? I think I'm going to force myself to go run a mile on a quick break at work. I just NEED to get some of this yucky feeling out of me - I'm just feeling weary and I don't like it. Where is the fearless, strong, resillient version of myself who can take on anything??? I know she's in there somewhere! Maybe she's hiding behind the responsible workaholic personal trainer who is trying to take care of her family.

Hopefully I can find her soon - I miss her!!! UGH!

Monday, April 18, 2011

Back At It!

Hey everyone!! So after a weekend of indulgences, I'm back at Vegan as of this morning and feel awesome - I really think this 5 day/2 day schedule is going to work out well! I indulged a lot this weekend and the scale jumped up because of my lack of caring yesterday (booze & desserts does that to me). I've been downing the fluids and already got some fitness minutes in for the day and I'm already feeling leaner. Hopefully the downward trend will continue *fingers crossed*

Here's my Elliptical Intervals that I completed today:
2 min Warm Up Level 1
1 min Interval Level 5
1 min Recovery Level 1
1 min Interval Level 5
1 min Recovery Level 1
1 min Interval Level 6
1 min Recovery Level 1
1 min Interval Level 6
1 min Recovery Level 1
1 min Interval Level 7
1 min Recovery Level 1
1 min Interval Level 8
1 min Recovery Level 1
1 min Interval Level 9
2 min Cool Down Level 1

Total Time: 22 Mins
Total Calories Burned: 170

This week might be a little tricky with nutrition as well - hopefully going to get my left side tattoo finished on Wednesday. I HATE being unfinished, its driving me nuts! But tattoos usually mean scale jump, water retention & crappy sleep - so not expecting much weight loss this week either - but who knows!

I also got sunburned on my arms this weekend - thankfully I was wearing a t-shirt, so its only my arms, but they are red and they hurt now. I have a nice sunburn line from where I was wearing my BodyBugg - go me! Hopefully it will calm down in a few days, but for now I'm going through the hot/cold flashes of being sunburned and I'm cranky.

Hopefully going to work out with hubby after work today - otherwise, lazy bum is in my future! haha!

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Operation Bikini - Two Week Weigh In!!!

Alrighty peeps - I know I'm a little delayed in posting this, but here's the 2 week results of Operation Bikini. I really wasn't expecting much - I ate like hell for half of week 2, I changed my nutrition part way through the week, got tattooed so I'm retaining water, slept terribly - all of these things are not really a good equation for weight loss. Weight came in at 173.6lbs, so am down around 3 pounds so far. Measurements are oddly exactly the same from Day One - however, I really think I am seeing progress in my pictures (below). I know my back is swollen due to the new tattoo - and it will continue to be swollen until its fully healed - which is why I think my measurements are still the same around my tummy.

Visually, I think that my tummy is trimming up - but the thing I noticed the MOST was the definition changes in my legs!!! These photos are NOT flexed and I'm seeing HUGE definition changes in regular midday sunlight that wasn't there a few weeks ago!

LOOK at my quads & calves!! Holy cow!!!
Photobucket Photobucket

So here's my day 1 pics next to my day 15 pics - as I stated earlier, I'm noticing my tummy is trimming up even though my measurements aren't changing much right now. Maybe I'm recomping and swapping muscle for fat??? Hmmm.....what do you guys think??


This definitely makes me curious to see what happens in the next 2 weeks!! This weekend was a little more indulgent than I wanted. It was my first actual day off (no work, no classes, NOTHING!) since February! So the hubby went out to a local casino and enjoyed a fabulous night out. We went to a steakhouse for dinner, diner for breakfast and Irish pub for lunch today. Booze was had (I have a hard time refusing Killian's & Hard Cider on tap! haha!), desserts were had and exercise was lower than usual - but isn't that what the first legitimate rest day in 3 months should be???? In all honesty, I don't feel bad about ANYTHING I ate this weekend (and trust me, I ate a lot! haha!).

So total for the month of April, I am down 3 pounds and have 813 fitness minutes so far for the month - so that's an average of 48 mins a day so far (which is exceeding my original goal of 30 mins a day). I'm noticing new muscle definition and coming to terms with various nutritional struggles that I've been faced with. Operation Bikini might not be EXACTLY what I planned - but I think its turning into EXACTLY what I needed.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

YAY!!!! Pretty New Presents!!!!

Hey everyone!!! So yesterday was awesome!! I only worked a half day at work (and am only working half days today and tomorrow as well! Woot!) Once I was out of work, I ran to Whole Foods, stocked up on some yummy vegan Larabars (I love those things!) and headed over to go visit my good friend Logan to continue working on my backpiece!!! We had a blast! I was there from 10am until I had to leave for my class at 530ish and we had over 5 hours of line time! Woot!

Here's the stencil:

And here's the right side - totally finished. The lining alone took 2 hours per side!

We didn't have time to fully finish the left side - but we got it lined and I'm going back in next week to finish it up!

I think it looks AMAZING!!! The piece is finally coming together and I couldn't be happier!!! I was expecting a jump on the scale this morning - healing wounds, crappy sleep, etc - but it was right around 174.4! Nice!!! Driving is a pain since I can't lean back in my chair & I had to rig myself a workable bra since this one falls right along the bra strap line - but its working well so far!

I'm personally not expecting the greatest weigh in tomorrow, and taking measurements is going to be really tricky with fresh ink, but I'll do my best - I'll be happy if I'm down from my initial weigh in which was around 176 - I'm not expecting any miracles right now. Also, I signed up for a virtual 5K this week that I have yet to run (I have until Saturday). Thankfully, I signed up for the run/walk portion of it - so I should be okay to walk it. I might see about postponing it by about 2 weeks to let my back fully heal though - its going to be put through enough strain by trying to keep up with my Zumba classes. Yesterday after being tattooed, I had my usual Wednesday class - I ran them through a circuit and I just took it easy with the twisting. I got a few hundred calories burned - but nothing major.

So other than that - here's my Self Discovery blog for the day -

Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know

Hmm - this one is a toughie. The hubby and I have worked really hard to ensure that we have a solid group of true friends. So I don't really have anyone that I wish I didn't know. Granted, just due to past drama there are people that I wish would cease to exist - but that's a whole different story.

Okay, I think that's about it for me. Now time to hobble around for a few days until my back heals up!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

OMG I feel SOOO Much Better!!!

So the decision to be "nutritionally" selfish has paid off in less than 24 hours - my body released almost 5 pounds of water weight between yesterday's weight and todays! Holy cow!! My body feels great!!! I went from 179ish yesterday morning to 174.6 this morning! EEK!! That's amazing!

I kept everything vegan and only ate when I was hungry. I took in 32g of Fiber, drank a ton of fluids and had 2 great workouts yesterday - all helped in the release of all that yucky from my system I'm sure. The hubby and I had another fabulous kickboxing workout and I had a great Zumba class. The SlipOns came in and they REALLY helped my joints feel better during class! I'm sold on them!!! I'm looking forward to trying the other ones at class tonight!!

I'm working a half day today (woot!) so I only have about 2 more hours of work! I'm planning on picking up a stash of Larabars at Whole Foods then spending the day with one of my good friends - I'm definitely looking forward to it! Hopefully things will continue on a downward trend with my weight - it felt awesome to drop those 4 pounds from yesterday & my body feels great!! I like not feeling fat & squishy!!! haha!

Today's Self Discovery Topic is - Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted

This has happened with a few good friends of mine. Lives change and develop at different rates, and sometimes people just don't find ways to keep in touch anymore. With the best friends I've made, it doesn't matter how long we go without talking - we just pick right back up. However, with some others it just seems awkward and forced when we try to hang out as it seems like we don't have a lot in common anymore. Its just the way the world works - everyone changes, but they don't always change in the same way. I might not have wanted to let go of those friendships - but its just the way things evolved.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Feeling Human Again!

So last night wasn't as vegan as I wanted it to be - life got crazy & busy and half my dinner was vegan. Weight was the same as the day prior - so that's good. Hoping its going to balance out a bit today. Today has been 100% vegan and I feel fabulous! I'm really happy with my decision to take control of my nutrition and I'm excited to take this to a whole new level of awesome!

In sticking vegan today, I've only eaten 377 cals today so far and I'm NOT hungry!! I am planning on eating 1 cup of pasta & sauce here in a little bit just to get my cal count up to 564 - but its nice to know I'm staying within a nice nutrition count and NOT starving or being cranky.

I am not really hopeful about many changes in the weigh in on Friday - especially since I've changed my nutrition halfway through the week - but who knows. I might be pleasantly surprised. If I don't see changes, I won't be upset - It will just be more motivation to ROCK the results by the 30th!

Alrighty, not much else to talk about - kind of put everything out there yesterday, so not much else is going on right now. I've been keeping up with my 30 mins of fitness a day - yesterday was just easy walking & elliptical (my body was just thrashed and needed to recoup). Today I have Zumba and am really looking forward to it - our SlipOns came in, so I'm hoping for some very happy knees and hips when I'm done with the workout tonight! Woot!

So today's self discovery topic is - Someone who made your life hell

Lord knows there's a few choice people out there in the world who tried to make my life hell - and they did cause me a lot of annoyance & unnecessary stress. They don't deserve any additional thoughts. However, the only person who can truly make my life hell is myself. I have let myself be less than I deserve in the past and now that's all changed. I'm stronger than I ever have been and no longer allow other people to treat me like hell - I'm better than that. No one has power over me except for myself. With those that I care about, I've created true and genuine relationships with - we are equals and hold no power over the other

However, I've noticed that sometimes my own demons will come up and attempt to sabotage all my hard work. I realize that if I don't allow other people to treat me this way, then why would I allow me to do it to myself?? It makes no sense and so I'm working hard every day to stop being so negative in my life - so far its working out well :-D

Monday, April 11, 2011

Self Discovery Days 5, 6 & 7

Alrighty - I was absent all weekend, so now I get to play catch up with my Self Discovery blogs - so here they are

Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life

I want to travel with my husband. He's never been out of the country, so I want to take him on adventures all over the world.

Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do

Umm....I don't know....I guess in the literal sense, I hope to never have to be over 200lbs again and go through the physical and emotional struggle of a huge weight loss again.

Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living for

My husband, my step son, my family and my friends - they all show me that life is truly about living & thriving - not just surviving and "getting by"

okay - enough blogging for the brain hurts now! haha!

I'm being selfish & I don't feel (too) bad about it

UGH - so I overindulged this weekend and now I'm paying the price. Everything from my neck down feels awful, heavy, squishy and tired. I didn't sleep well last night and I had to force myself to eat breakfast (even though I wasn't really hungry). My weight is around mid-170s again, but I just feel so awful that number on the scale really doesn't matter right now

Why do I keep doing this to myself? Why is it so hard for me to stay on track? Why do I allow myself to eat foods that I know will make me feel awful??? Why is the only time I've had successful weight loss while eating a good amount of calories was when I went vegan??? Needless to say, the past 4 weeks of "reintegration" of food has been really hard for me - I can't seem to do a good job of consistently staying within my calorie counts. I'm hungry all the time, rarely stay within my sodium counts, am always over my fat counts. I'm cranky and I don't like it.

This morning - after yet another weekend of crappy food choices, I think I've hit my proverbial "nutritional rock bottom". I feel horrendous - zero energy, slept terribly, tummy issues galore - I feel like I weigh 400lbs, my joints hurt (which is weather related, but still not welcome), my sinuses are yucky (allergies) and I'm bloated - not a good combo.

I'm having a really hard time with nutrition right now and as of this morning, I wasn't sure what to do, but now I have some direction. After my 4 week vegan adventure, "normal nutrition" is SO hard for me - going vegan was easy for me - it was effortless weight loss, was never hungry, ate good whole foods, always felt energetic and rested (regardless of how little sleep I got). I only missed cheese, ice cream & the occasional splurge out.

I know that going vegan was really hard on my hubby - he is 100% carnivore and it was hard for us to go out to eat when I was vegan, but I can't stop denying how much better I felt when I was eating dairy/meat free. I've been IM-ing him all morning and I finally told him about how I'm feeling. I'm tired of feeling terrible, I'm tired of feeling yucky and I feel awful for feeling so selfish that I want to feel better about my eating, when I know how hard it was for him.

Being the amazing hubby that he is he told me that he'd rather have me selfishly energetic, happy and healthy (aka vegan) than lethargic, self consious and cow-like (aka carnivore). He told me that I'd better start being selfish when it comes to my health and that I don't need to worry about him - all of which almost made me start crying (because he's so amazing) - but I have to refrain, my coworkers might start to stare....

So after all this drama, I've decided to reach a temporary compromise to see how this works for me. I am going to be a "Weekender" and see how that goes. Monday through Friday - 100% Vegan - I need the energy, sleep and feelings of awesome when I work as much as I do (and hopefully the weight loss that comes with it). Then on the weekends, when I can go out on date nights with the hubby, I'll let myself have the occasional Omnivore meal and see how it goes from there.

I think this will do well for me - because then if I crave cheese or ice cream, I can have it on the weekends - but the occasional meal shouldn't destroy me as much as the regular Omni eating is doing for me. Granted - these rules aren't set in stone. Basically its 5 days vegan, 2 days Omni - and special occasions are going to be Omni regardless of the day of the week (anniversaries, holidays, birthdays, etc).

So starting NOW - I am vegan again until the weekend. I'm downing lots of fluids (right now unsweetened Iced Tea) and going to take it easy on food. I did an easy 10 mins on the elliptical earlier today (not really any decent cal burn, but it got me moving) and I am starting to feel better. For the first time in my life, I'm being nutritionally selfish in a healthy way. This is uncharted territory for me and I'm scared, but at least I know that whatever happens my hubby will be there for me!

I know this was a HUGE blog - lots of Monday morning ranting, so I'll catch up on the Self Discovery blogs in a few mins. I just wanted to get this posted and out to the world - somehow that seems to make it more official :-D

Friday, April 8, 2011

Today's 30 Exercise Minutes - DONE!

So I've been doing a great job at keeping my fitness minutes at or above 30 mins a day! All week I've done Zumba, Kickboxing, Running & Elliptical to keep myself moving and today was no exception. I had to split up my workouts in order to get them done while at work - so on my first break I hopped on the treadmill. I was planning on getting a nice, slow, "easy" mile in (around 12 mins-ish) but NO - my feet were having NONE of it!!! haha!! My feet just wanted to move faster and I rocked out that mile in 9:57 with a top speed of 7.8 at the end!!! WOOT!!!

On my lunch break, I hopped on the elliptical and rocked out some intervals in 17 mins. If its possible to "dance" on the elliptical, I totally did that today! I had some GREAT tunes come on the IPOD and just cruised through the workout! I had a blast!!! Its definitely nice to know that I'm done with my fitness stuff and its not even 10:30am yet! Yippee!!

Treadmill Run:
Total Time: 16 mins
Total Run Time: 9:57
Total Calories Burned: 150

Elliptical Intervals:
2 min Warm Up Level 1
1 min Interval Level 5
1 min Recovery Level 1
1 min Interval Level 5
1 min Recovery Level 1
1 min Interval Level 6
1 min Recovery Level 1
1 min Interval Level 6
1 min Recovery Level 1
1 min Interval Level 7
1 min Recovery Level 1
1 min Interval Level 8
1 min Recovery Level 1
1 min Interval Level 9
2 min Cool Down Level 1

Total Time: 21 Mins
Total Calories Burned: 195 (I guess the dancing worked - I burned 25 more cals than last time!)

I am full of this crazy energy today for some reason! I was hoping to burn some of it off in my workouts, but NOPE - I'm still bouncing off the walls!!! I'm happy its Friday, I'm happy its payday and I'm looking forward to date night - overall its been a grand day!!!

Operation Bikini - Week 1 Done and Self Discovery Day 4

So the first week of April is over - and THANK THE GODS!!! OY this has been a crazy week! Overall, the weigh in went well, but I feel like I've been lax about my nutrition a little more than I wanted this week. The hubby and I went out to eat last night and on Wednesday - and I kept it within calorie counts, but my sodium was super high both days - so I didn't see a lot of weight changes over the past few days & I feel squishy (like I'm retaining water) YUCK! Hopefully that will fall off soon.

Starting weight was around 176.4 last week and today I was 173.6 - considering I've been relaxed on nutrition for most of the week, I definitely can't complain about those results! I am thinking about tweaking the nutrition calculations just a little bit - there are some days where I burn a TON of calories - yesterday, for example, was a 2700 calorie burn day, and 1400-1600 calories can be a little low for days like that (I was ravenous all day and so it was hard to stay within range, but I hit 1600 cals). So I think I'm just going to practice eating within a healthy range - if I go over one day, I'll balance the next. Overall this is about seeing changes in the mirror, tape measure & scale - I'm not here to starve myself. So with that being said - my initial calculation of 1400-1600 calories a day is out the window!!! I'm eating for health, that's all

I've been getting at least 30 mins of exercise every day which has been awesome! Yesterday, the hubby and I did a great kickboxing workout together! We were totally having a blast! I'm going to be keeping up those workouts with him 4 days a week, which is going to be super fun! I'm really looking forward to it!!

This weekend is weekend 2 of 3 of Birthday Parties for the month - so hopefully it will go well! We have a birthday lunch on both Saturday & Sunday - eek! Nutrition might be off, but once again - this is now about trying not to freak out! Next weekend isn't looking much better either - we already have a birthday party scheduled on the 16th too!!! Whew!!! Busy times indeed!! Official measurements, progress pics & weigh in happens on the 15th - so that's definitely some motivation to keep myself in line between now and then - but life is certainly staying busy!!!!

I hope you all are having an awesome April!!! I'm having a good one and even if Operation Bikini isn't turning out exactly like I wanted - I'm still seeing results, managing a healthy lifestyle and having a blast with my friends while doing it!! I'd say that's a success - even if I'm not hitting EVERYTHING I'd planned for.

So today is Self Discovery Day 4 and the topic is Something you have to forgive someone for:

I think of all the things that have been done to me over the years that may or may not have been hurt by - and I've been working on letting a lot of things go over the past few years. I still hold animosity towards my biological father & my ex-step dad, but I don't think that will ever change. Those feelings have evolved from frustration & anger to just more of a mild annoyance right now - so I've made progress there and don't necessarily think any additional meditation is required on the issue. Beyond that, I am a pretty forgiving person - I really don't hold grudges. Sure, there are plenty of people that piss me off - but allowing myself to hold onto those negative feelings is simply giving them power that they don't deserve, so I just don't do it anymore. Life is simply too good (and too busy) to waste time being frustrated with other people.

So the answer to my question is - no one. I don't HAVE to forgive anyone for anything right now. Any minor feelings of annoyance are a natural human reaction I have towards people that have bugged me in the past - this doesn't require deep thought or letting go. I've made a point to surround myself with good people and anyone that matters in my life has never done anything so severe that it requires forgiveness, except for myself of course (reference yesterdays blog).

Alrighty peeps - Happy Friday!!! I hope you all have a great day!! I know I'm looking forward to it!!!

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Sodium Evils & Self Discovery Day 3

So yesterday I was totally on point with my calories! The hubby wanted to go out for a date night and we went to Buffalo Wild Wings. I totally kept everything within my calories range - woot! However, I had a crazy amount of sodium (like over 3,500mg! EEK!). So, needless to say the scale popped up to 174lbs this morning - but overall not too bad I'd say.

Zumba class was awesome last night. During one of our jumping moves I felt a "pop" and then pain in my right knee right after, but I didn't lose stability so I kept going. I didn't feel any other pain within my knee for the rest of the night, no bruising has occurred and it feels fine this morning - so it could just have been a fluke. My joints act up sometimes when the weather changes, and it went from 75 degrees and sunny to mid 50s and rainy overnight - so that could have something to do with it for sure! I'm going to take it easy today and see how it fares during class tonight.

So here's Self Discovery Topic Day 3 -

Something You Have to Forgive Yourself For

I have lots of things that I need to forgive myself for, but there's only a few things I truly still feel guilty about even years after its happened. The amount of hell I put my mom through in high school is insane, and I've regretted it ever since. She is the most amazing person and she never deserved to have to go through any of what I put her through when I was younger. I know that its now been almost 10 years since it happened, but that still doesn't mean I feel any better about it. I wasn't exactly the poster child for the perfect high school kid - and I drug my mom through all of it.

Thankfully, our relationship now is amazing and I am grateful every day to have someone like her in my life, but that doesn't mean that I don't feel guilty for being a moronic teenager and making my mom suffer like she did. I just hope that someday I will be able to fully let it go and understand that everyone makes mistakes - mine were just on the epic scale in high school. I'm living an amazing life now and only have the occasional echo of my past life - but I will always regret putting such an amazing person through unnecessary hell.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Birthdays, Water Weight & Day 2 of Self Discovery

So yesterday was a good day. I pounded fluids, kept my eating in line & vegan all day(ended up under cals for the day, but not too upset about it as I went SO over this past weekend), had a great Zumba class, got a new book (that I'm almost done with already) and got paid for my classes (yay for monies!)

My body shed a TON of water weight yesterday and the day before - I started out the week at 179 after my weekend of indulgences, and this morning was 173.4! Holy cow! I'm stoked! That's less than the 176lbs I weighed in at on April 1st, so I'm thrilled. I feel SO much better now that my body has released all that excess bloat! Definitely not as squishy as I was before! Definitely motivation to keep nutrition in line until the next weigh in! Hopefully I'll continue on this losing streak and have a great weigh in on Friday or Saturday (haven't decided which day yet though).

Yesterday was my mommy's birthday - but since it was in the middle of the week all we could do was call her to say HI! We are driving up this weekend to see her, which will be awesome!

I have a Zumba class tonight and can't wait for it! Its always a fabulous way to kick off the rest of the week and always great for a good sweat!

Alrighty - so here's Day 2 of my Self Discovery Blog inspired by my SparkFriend:

Today's Topic - Something You Love About Yourself

I've never been one to brag about myself, it just never makes sense to me. I relish in my accomplishments and speak openly about the joy that I have found over the past few years. Physically, I am proud of where I've come from. I take pride in the fact that my body is stronger that it ever has been in the past. That strength runs deeper than that though. Accomplishing physical goals drives mental strength and power for me. My mental strength and determination that's evolved over the past few years is one of my favorite things about myself. Though I may have doubts (reference yesterday's blog) - once I set a goal for myself, I reach it. I will push myself beyond my limits, if only to discover what those limits are.

Alrighty - that's it for now. Hope you all have a great day! Happy Wednesday!

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Back On Track, Plants & Self Discoveries

Hey all - so after eating within my calorie count yesterday, the weight fell off and I'm back down to 177.4lbs. Definitely nice to only need 1 day of recovery from a weekend of crazy indulgences!

The next book in the series I've been reading came out today. I went to Wal-Mart this morning before work (at 4am) on the *chance* that they might have put them out already.....NOPE! I was wrong. Instead of making it a wasted trip, I picked up some caffiene to help me wake up. I found 2 new kinds of Diet Mtn Dew! Woot! They are both yummy, but the Supernova one was AWESOME - Strawberry Melon Soda...yum!! I hope they keep it out!! The other one was a Raspberry Citrus which was good too, but the purple one was fabulous!


SO - onto other stuff....the last time I went grocery shopping, I bought a little mini plant kit - seeds, soil, everything I need. I dunno why I did it. I am known for being the Jack Kevorkian of foliage - I look at a plant funny and I manage to kill it. I guess I was thinking that somehow maybe I might be able to grow something from a seed without destroying it. Who knows - I'll give it a shot and we'll see how it goes.

Next - One of my new Sparkfriends, TRACYSETTLE, is doing a 30 day Self Discovery Blog that I think is AMAZING and I've been inspired to do the same. Each day there is a different topic to discuss certain attributes to my personality to aid in self discovery. I am about a week behind her, but I figure I'll start with Day 1 and go from there.

So Day 1 of the Self Discovery Blog is "Something You Hate About Yourself":

I have always strived to be the best that I can be in all aspects of my life - but this can be a double-edged sword, as it can easily lead to thoughts that I'm not good enough. I've been known to doubt my abilities when it comes to taking chances in my life - whether it be applying for a new job or just trying something different. I used to be really adventurous, reckless, carefree (call it what you will) in High School and I was always independent in any decision I made regardless of how stupid it might be. I seem to have grown out of this phase, but I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. I've matured, sobered up and found a fabulous quality of life that I never thought I would have at 26 years old.

Now that I'm older, I have people and things I want to live for and I want to make sure its the best life possible. In that, I've gained a sense of responsibility and a different kind of self worth has evolved from that. I know now that I can't make decisions independently anymore - I have my husband and step son to think about now - which is the greatest feeling of self worth that can be discovered. Having someone worth living for is the greatest feeling ever. However, in that - I have lost some of the enjoyment out of taking risks with myself or my life and these lingering fears of "I'm not worth it" or "They won't hire me because..." creep up in my head due to the potential lack of stability within my household. I'm working past this and trying to expand my horizons again, only this time doing it with my husband as my partner and supporter. I've applied for positions as a Zumba instructor around town in places I would have normally ignored - so this is a big step for me. Hopefully interviews will come soon!

So there it is - something I hate about myself - the fact that sometimes I still let myself think that I'm not good enough. Now onto the rest of the day! I have Zumba tonight to get my fitness in, and keeping calories in line! Picking up new book and being a book nerd for the rest of the night! Woot! Good day indeed!

Monday, April 4, 2011

No More Laziness!!!

So instead of being lazy - I just did a fabulous elliptical workout on my lunch break. I didn't want to run since I didn't have the right shoes - but I didn't really want to sit around either. I got 170 calories burned in about 20 mins and it was awesome! Woot! So now I'm at my minimum 30 mins of exercise for the day, and its only 10am! Yippee!

Elliptical Intervals:

2 min Warm Up Level 1
1 min Interval Level 5
1 min Recovery Level 1
1 min Interval Level 5
1 min Recovery Level 1
1 min Interval Level 6
1 min Recovery Level 1
1 min Interval Level 6
1 min Recovery Level 1
1 min Interval Level 7
1 min Recovery Level 1
1 min Interval Level 8
1 min Recovery Level 1
1 min Interval Level 9
2 min Cool Down Level 1

Total Time: 17 Mins
Total Calories Burned: 170

The Weekend of Food Nightmares...

So I overdid it this weekend - knew it would happen. Went out for sushi on Friday night, and restrained myself but still left full. Saturday night was my Sister-In-Law's birthday at the Melting Pot, and the hubby and I shared a Big Night Out (a 4 course dinner of awesomeness!). Once again, didn't eat to the point of uncomfortableness - but was definitely full. At dinner I had 2 glasses of wine and 1 unexpected shot from the bartender (which was HUGE - it filled a rocks glass and was 100% booze, so it was really like 2 or 3 shots in one!). This was the breaking point for me - whenever I have more than 1-2 drinks, my weight SHOOTS up overnight and stays there for a few days! UGH!

Yesterday, I was so tired and wiped out that I didn't feel like doing much of anything. The hubby and I got food from a little Chicago style pizza place (not the best choice, but it was the only major meal I had yesterday - my body was going through an unexpected IF thing I guess). We were lazy and relaxed all afternoon watching movies.

Needless to say, today I feel like a Heifer. My weight yesterday and today was around 179lbs, which should fall off today or tomorrow - once my body releases this alcohol bloat. I was a little rushed this morning and didn't have a chance to pack any food - so I had to pick up breakfast, but am within my calorie counts for the day (however sodium might be a little high). I know its all water weight as my rings were tight on my fingers this morning, but they're already feeling better (I can slide the rings off with ease now) so hopefully tomorrow it will continue to improve!

I've gotten all my workouts in since the beginning of the month - at my goal of at least 30 mins a day. Did Zumba Saturday & Sunday, ran a mile and did the absolutely crazy Insanity "Fast & Furious" DVD on Friday. Today so far, ran a mile in 10:44 on my first break. Might run another mile on my lunch, but I'll have to see how I'm feeling. I didn't wear my running shoes - so had to run the first mile today in my VANS skater sneakers, which wasn't bad since I took it slowly, but it was still a little jarring on my knees.

I'm looking forward to getting back on track. I might actually go 100% vegan for the next week or so just to get my body moving in the right direction. I am actually thinking about cutting until I hit around 160lbs, which would be about another 12-15 pounds and then working on recomping at maintenance from there. Just a thought, not sure if I'm going to do it for sure.

Anyways, its Monday - and I hate Mondays. I am tired, sleep deprived and having trouble focusing - but that's just the way Mondays go :-D

OH - also, since I'm tired of updating in 2 places - I am going to be combining my workout journal ( into this journal and post any workout thoughts here along with my nutrition stuff. I think that will make my life easier. I've already imported all my posts from the other blog and published them on this one, so life will definitely be simplified as I don't have to worry about updating 2 seperate blogs! Woot for simplicity!!!

Hope you all have a great day!

Friday, April 1, 2011

Day One - Update

Okay, so I got out of work early today and was able to sneak in some progress pics. I also gave myself a killer workout by doing the Insanity Fast & Furious workout - holy gods....I can't believe how hard that workout is!!! EEK!!! I burned over 200 calories in 20 mins and now have a goal to get better at that workout!!! Its a doozie!!!

Alrighty - so here's my "Before" pics:

I love love LOVE the definition I am getting on my back!!! Yippee!!! Tummy looks okay, but still have some work to do! I got out of work early today and had a chance to snap some progress pics after my workout as I didn't get a chance to take them earlier today. I am a little squishier than I like to be - but 2 weeks of eating junk will do that.

Here's my measurements from this morning - they're up a little bit from the last measurement (end of Vegan investigation) due to water retention, etc:

Weight: 176.4
Height: 5'7"
Body Fat Percentage: 26.54%
Thigh (upper): 25 inches
Hips: 40 inches
At bellybutton: 35 inches
Waist: 32.5 inches
Chest: 34 inches
Bust: 37.5 inches
Upper arms: 13 inches
Clothing Size: Pants - 6, Shirts - small to medium

Now - Time to sneak in a nap before the 2nd half of my day starts! yippee!

Operation Bikini - Day One Weigh In

Hey everyone! So after 2 weeks of *literally* eating everything I wanted, today is back on track for the month of April. I didn't wake up with enough time to take progress pics this morning, but I snapped a few in the gym at work and will use those along with my final Vegan pics as a reference point (they are posted below - sorry they're so dark, it was early & the sun wasn't fully up yet!)

After eating EXTREMELY lax for the past 2 weeks, my weight has stuck around 175-177lbs - which isn't bad at all! Today I weighed in at 176.4lbs - which after eating in excess for 2 weeks is fabulous - I am only up 3.6 pounds and half of that (if not more) is probably water weight. Woot!

Current Weight: 176.4lbs, Current Jean Size: 6

Measurements were a little funky - just due to water weight retention, etc. But that will be all the better once I lean out a little more and get the losses I want to see. The areas that I dropped fat (such as my upper thighs) during the Vegan Investigation are still down - which means I really haven't gained a whole lot of fat back during my 2 week binge-fest.

Today has started out well - my coworkers wanted to go out to breakfast at Cracker Barrel - which can usually be devistating to a daily diet. But I ordered off the kids menu, got 2 plain pancakes with sugar free syrup and kept it at 227 calories for the whole meal! Go me!

Since we are going out to dinner tonight, I'm keeping my calorie count low for the workday - I'm sitting at 562 so far and don't plan on eating again until dinner (unless I need a small snack after work). I ran around a mile on the treadmill already for 12 mins of exercise so far and plan on getting in some more exercise later to get my full 30 mins - not sure if I'm going to run, or put in one of my 20 min DVD workouts, we'll have to see what I have time for.

I'm trying to be proactive today and tomorrow with my exercise and hitting my calorie counts since we are going out to dinner at 2 of our favorite restaurants (where I totally tend to stuff myself silly!) to ensure that I don't wreck myself nutritionally in these 2 days. Hopefully it will work out.

I'll be updating this regularly (probably daily, but I'm not making any promises). Measurements & new photos will come on April 15th when we are halfway through our challenge. I think its hilarious that one of the busiest & toughest weekends for this challenge is the FIRST one for me! EEK! I guess that just means good things will come in the future.