Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Back On Track, Plants & Self Discoveries

Hey all - so after eating within my calorie count yesterday, the weight fell off and I'm back down to 177.4lbs. Definitely nice to only need 1 day of recovery from a weekend of crazy indulgences!

The next book in the series I've been reading came out today. I went to Wal-Mart this morning before work (at 4am) on the *chance* that they might have put them out already.....NOPE! I was wrong. Instead of making it a wasted trip, I picked up some caffiene to help me wake up. I found 2 new kinds of Diet Mtn Dew! Woot! They are both yummy, but the Supernova one was AWESOME - Strawberry Melon Soda...yum!! I hope they keep it out!! The other one was a Raspberry Citrus which was good too, but the purple one was fabulous!


SO - onto other stuff....the last time I went grocery shopping, I bought a little mini plant kit - seeds, soil, everything I need. I dunno why I did it. I am known for being the Jack Kevorkian of foliage - I look at a plant funny and I manage to kill it. I guess I was thinking that somehow maybe I might be able to grow something from a seed without destroying it. Who knows - I'll give it a shot and we'll see how it goes.

Next - One of my new Sparkfriends, TRACYSETTLE, is doing a 30 day Self Discovery Blog that I think is AMAZING and I've been inspired to do the same. Each day there is a different topic to discuss certain attributes to my personality to aid in self discovery. I am about a week behind her, but I figure I'll start with Day 1 and go from there.

So Day 1 of the Self Discovery Blog is "Something You Hate About Yourself":

I have always strived to be the best that I can be in all aspects of my life - but this can be a double-edged sword, as it can easily lead to thoughts that I'm not good enough. I've been known to doubt my abilities when it comes to taking chances in my life - whether it be applying for a new job or just trying something different. I used to be really adventurous, reckless, carefree (call it what you will) in High School and I was always independent in any decision I made regardless of how stupid it might be. I seem to have grown out of this phase, but I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. I've matured, sobered up and found a fabulous quality of life that I never thought I would have at 26 years old.

Now that I'm older, I have people and things I want to live for and I want to make sure its the best life possible. In that, I've gained a sense of responsibility and a different kind of self worth has evolved from that. I know now that I can't make decisions independently anymore - I have my husband and step son to think about now - which is the greatest feeling of self worth that can be discovered. Having someone worth living for is the greatest feeling ever. However, in that - I have lost some of the enjoyment out of taking risks with myself or my life and these lingering fears of "I'm not worth it" or "They won't hire me because..." creep up in my head due to the potential lack of stability within my household. I'm working past this and trying to expand my horizons again, only this time doing it with my husband as my partner and supporter. I've applied for positions as a Zumba instructor around town in places I would have normally ignored - so this is a big step for me. Hopefully interviews will come soon!

So there it is - something I hate about myself - the fact that sometimes I still let myself think that I'm not good enough. Now onto the rest of the day! I have Zumba tonight to get my fitness in, and keeping calories in line! Picking up new book and being a book nerd for the rest of the night! Woot! Good day indeed!

1 comment:

  1. I'm sure you will get some interviews soon!! You are totally good enough!!!