Monday, August 15, 2011

That's It! I'm DONE!

Let me give you a run down about what's been going on the past few months - back in February I went Vegan for 4 weeks to "guinea pig" myself to be able to explain to my personal training clients what that lifestyle was like. Lo and Behold - it turned out to be the happiest accident for me. I was sleeping better, had boundless energy, lost weight effortlessly, all of my tummy issues disappeared almost overnight and I was feeling incredible. However, at the end of the 4 weeks, I ended up missing cheese the most (go figure) and the vegan thing was tough on my hubby (total carnivore) - so I went back to an onmivore lifestyle after that.

In the months that have followed I've really struggled with introducing food back into my diet again. I've been sleeping terribly, losing energy, having trouble maintaining my weight (let alone losing anything!) and my tummy issues have come back in full force. I tried to incorporate a partial vegan diet, which epically failed because it was TOO easy to cheat. I just didn't have the willpower to eat better when I was allowing myself to eat anything on the menu.

Over the past month, my weight has gone anywhere from a lean 172lbs to a water weight 182ish - which is WAY too much of a weight span for me. My sleep has been terrible - I'll sleep for 9 hours but feel like I haven't slept at all. I've had stomach pains so bad that I barrel over and have issues breathing until they subside. (the stomach pains I've began to associate with higher fat meals, so I'm planning on going to the doctor soon to get my gallbladder checked out)

This past weekend was the last straw. On Saturday night, my hubby, my BFF and I went out to eat dinner at Buffalo Wild Wings prior to going to a friend's house for a get-together. I didn't eat the greatest, but I had a small assortment of chicken, popcorn shrimp and a few nachos - nothing that would have caused me any major issues pre-Vegan Investigation. About an hour later (once we were at our friend's house) my tummy pains came back in full force! UGH! I was so pissed! This is the first time the hubby had experienced me in that much pain and he really got nervous too.

Needless to say, we left the party early and I went home to curl up in a ball until I was able to fall asleep. The next morning, I'd had a nice 5 mile run planned - but I felt so terrible that didn't happen either. Now - for any of you that truly know me, you know it takes A LOT for me to miss a workout. I sat around watching Vampire Diaries on DVD (my guilty pleasure!), napping occasionally to stock up on energy and trying to feel better while the hubby was at work.

Yesterday morning, my hubby (who is amazing for multiple reasons) openly stated that even though he is (and always will be) a carnivore - he would rather I go full vegan again than see me in that much pain on a consistent basis. I'd been toying with the idea of going vegan again already - but refused to actually do it because of how much it inconvenienced everyone else (especially my hubby). Having my hubby's full support was enough for me to finally commit and make the decision.

I'm tired of feeling like crap all the time. I'm tired of being tired all the time. I'm tired of struggling with my weight when I know there's something better out there. I'm tired of wasting my time being sick on the sofa. So I'm DONE with it! I'm ready to be healthy, happy and energetic again!

Since I'm doing this for health reasons (and not PETA reasons) this is what I've decided to do - I will be eating Vegan all the time, unless I'm in a situation where Vegan isn't possible (i.e. restaurant, friend's house, etc), and then meals will be vegetarian instead (or if for some stupid reason I'm craving cheese again). My hubby has openly stated that he knows this is a change for him too - but he's willing to make it if it means he has his wife healthy (he's so fabulous!)

So this is me now - I am vegan because my body has been screaming for it. I really don't have a choice here. I refuse to go through life feeling terrible. I feel like the last few months have been such a struggle for me. I'm ready to start feeling better again. I've been eating vegan so far today and I'm already feeling more energetic and alert than I usually am (I haven't had as much caffeine as I normally do). I'm so ready for this. Bring on the awesomeness that I discovered in February.

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