Thursday, December 16, 2010

Marathon Mile 20 - You Carry Fear in Your Knees

So I guess in a real marathon - this would be where I would hit "the wall". I thought I would have missed out on the joys of that since I wasn't running it straight....boy was I wrong! haha!

Today I hit the wall. I felt crappy this morning (had a bad incident with some nachos yesterday and still feel yucky today). I had errands to run after work and didn't plan enough food with what I had packed with the nutrition plan I was on - I needed to eat something or risk passing out...needless to say the only option was nachos from the cafe at work and I was paying the price for the rest of the evening. I got some ice cream later in the afternoon and it helped settle my stomach, but still wasn't 100% this morning.

Anyways, back to the run - so I hopped on the treadmill this morning I felt sluggish & yucky. Within the first 20 seconds I experienced a sharp pain in my right knee and I started to worry. I don't want another injury like the one I experienced before my 5K run. Then I remembered something that a friend of mine on Spark, TURBOAMIE, had stated - "You carry Anger in your Hips & Fear in your Knees"

So as I was running today, I started thinking about things that I might be afraid of. My Zumba certification is tomorrow - and I am terrified about that. What if I'm one of those poor people who isn't successful and they don't pass me? I am scared about tonight - due to weather, I have to drive to Santa Fe tonight so that I don't get caught in snow tomorrow morning. This is only the 2nd night that my husband and I will have spent apart in almost 4 years (the first being the night before the wedding - we decided to be traditionalists about that one). Being apart from him makes me nervous.

As I was running and contemplating those fears, I realized that things will work out exactly the way they are meant to and that worrying about them will due me absolutely NO good. I've been preparing for this certification for weeks and I shouldn't be worried about the outcome. My husband has told me numerous times over the past few days that he'd rather I drive to Santa Fe tonight then risk my own safety. I know that he loves me and that my staying in Santa Fe will be just as hard on him as it is for me - and for some reason that is oddly comforting

Though it seems like this might have taken a while - all of this mental evaluation happened over the course of about a minute during the beginning of my run. Once I came to peace with those fears, my knee pain disappeared instantaneously. It was astounding to me that fear could have been the culprit behind the pain I experienced and I think that the injury I experienced before my 5K could have been associated with the same thing - I was scared about the run!

I felt an overwhelming sense of relief and peace after coming to this conclusion and was able to finish my run at a nice fast pace of 9:39!!! Only 4 seconds off from my PR time yesterday! I couldn't believe it! What started as the hardest run of my Marathon so far, ended as one of my best times - all from overcoming a little bit of fear!

Even now, an hour or so after my run, I don't feel ANY lingering pain in my knee at all - granted, I will keep an eye on it, but I truly think that my body was displaying a direct reflection of my internal fears. With that being said - THANK YOU to TURBOAMIE for helping me overcome that which I was fearing. You will never know how truly impactful your words were to me.

Today, I hit a wall - but I busted through it. Only 6.2 miles until my Marathon to Christmas is complete. Words cannot describe how much this Marathon to Christmas has helped me improve physically and emotionally - and its not even over yet. I know I am not running a full Marathon, though I hope to someday - but pushing my body to exert 100% every single day over the past few weeks has proven to be my own endurance experience.

My weight is down 2 pounds from the beginning of my Nutritional overhaul, I'm sleeping better than I have in weeks and I feel great. Today is a good day and I look forward to what tomorrow will bring!! Go Zumba!!!

My Marathon to Christmas - Mile 20
Time: 9:39
Speed: 6.0-6.5 (though I averaged 6.3 throughout the majority of the run)
Total Calories Burned: 155

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